Woman kills African elephant with bow

Way to go, big-shot.

I swatted a fly yesterday, you don’t see me making a big deal out of it.

The Next General Election

Unless Brown calls a snap election in the next month or so, we’ll have a General Election by June of next year whether we like it or not.

Personally, I couldn’t care less. Like the famous South Park episode, this election will offer the tempting choice between a giant douche and a turd sandwich.

Now I know the usual Labour commenters will hurl a volley of abuse at me. About how the Tories are so much evil’r - and of course, they are. But seriously, having been a Labour-leaning voter and blogger for many years, I have become to view this relationship as an abusive one. Labour kicked the stuffing out of me, and I just put up with it.

Read the rest of this entry »

Stop the bigots - support Aberdeen’s gay Minister

Recognise the gays, you intolerant space-alien loving bastards.

More me…

…over at my geek blog, askin’ for some Windows love.

Latest Wikio Stats

Dan, over at Wikio, has again kindly forwarded me the latest rankings.

Interesting movers include Labourlist’s breakthrough into the top-five, and Labourhome also getting a top-ten spot. So regardless of Gordo’s toxicity, Labour is still alive and kicking*.

This is actually the main blog list, but the mix is pretty politics-centric anyway.

*Mind you, take away the thousands of Tories with nothing better to do than troll Labourlist, and the thing probably wouldn’t make the top 30, never mind top-5.

How to survive the Aporkalypse

Obviously the swine flu is very worrying. I mean, who really wants trotters, a snout, and wiry hair on their neck? Anyway, rather than spending your life in terror and looking suspiciously at sausage rolls, why not use the epidemic to your advantage?

Below are a few ideas. Feel free to add your own in the comments. The best one gets a bag of pork scratchings.

It’s Iain Dale’s right to criticise Jack Jones.

Iain Dale has posted a YouTube video explaining why lefties are so out of order for complaining about his post yesterday about the late Jack Jones. Dale used the post to point out his opinion of Jones’ shortcomings, and for this the Tory blogger has been accused of being insensitive.

Whatever, Trevor.

Criticising people in the days after their death is insensitive. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it. Iain Dale can say what the hell he likes on his blog. And readers and political foes can call him on it, if they so wish. It’s really not a big deal.

And it will also not be a big deal when Lady Thatch’ finally parts this world for the fiery depths of hell. The left will enjoy toasting to her demise, and will revel in the thought of her reuniting with Reagan and Pinochet, as they in turn take it up the arse from the devil himself.

I for one salute Iain Dale for standing up for our inalienable right to pick at the still-warm carcass of our political enemies.

Thank you, Iain.

Rightwing nutjob Beck, advocates secession.

So you thought Fox News’ resident mentalist, Glenn Beck, couldn’t get more unhinged.

You were wrong. So very wrong.

You know the Republicans are going down the toilet faster than an aerodynamically sculptured turd, don’t you? Heh. Good.

Chicken and Egg

Sunny has a post over at LC commenting on the McBride/Draper affair. Sunny asserts that, surely, Derek Draper’s scandalous and counterproductive foray into the blogosphere is over. Done. Finished. Kaputt.

I hope so. Draper is not only “poisonous for the Labour party”, he has become a toxic presence that is soiling the entire medium. It’s almost as if Dolly’s a MSM agent, planted within the blogosphere to undermine the medium and bring it down from within.

He is a virus. A horrid bacterium that has spread, uncontrolled, through the online community. It’s time he slithered away.

But the thing is… there… just now… I fed the goat. That’s what Dolly wants. That’s what Guido wants. These wankers are HUGE ego-whores. They want you talking about them. Good or bad. They’re like the vacuous coked-up clothes horses that populate the celeb rags, they’re obsessed with publicity.

And you, I, we’re all just doing exactly what they fucking want. We’re talking about them. Aggghhhh!!!

I could write a hugely informed post about how Paul “Guido” Staines is a hypocrite for slating McBride/Draper, when he’s a pioneer of mud-slinging hate politics (chicken and egg?), but I’d be FEEDING THE FUCKING GOAT!

So please, I beg you, let’s stop waxing their egos and ignore these two self-seving wankers.

I repeat…

NEXT!

McBride, that irrelevant muppet and the faux outrage he caused

This really is much ado about nothing — it’s no different to the expenses nonsense. They’re all at it. It’s what they do. They fiddle and they scheme, and one or two, might actually do some work once in a while.

Politicians like to claim that they’re morally superior to us, or that they’re in the know about things we’ll never comprehend, but in reality they’re like the rest of us: a mix of shirkers, workers, liars, pervs, twats and smart-arses (have I missed anyone?). MPs are no different to that bunch of goons and loons you work with. No better, and probably no worse. It’s the anthropology, stupid.

Guido’s desperate to make this a big deal because it feeds his gargantuan ego. Is it really news that politicos scheme against one-another? No, don’t be so daft you silly hypocritical gonad.

If the political blogosphere really is going to be the antidote to the MSM, rather than its desperate echo-chamber, we really have to be better than this.

Next!

Wikio Rankings for April

Dan at Wikio, possibly appreciating my busy schedule, has kindly offered me some free content for the blog, in the shape of this Month’s Wikio rankings.

So without further ado, I present the Wikio Blog Rankings for April 2009.

As you can see, the top four remain resolute — encased in carbonite and refusing to budge. And in the poptastic voice of Tony Blackburn, I can also tell you that Political Betting is still the fifth member of the blogging Beetles, remaining at 5.

LibDem Voice continues to climb the rankings, and DK bounces back after a month at number 9.

How Wikio comes up with these rankings can be found here.

Not that you probably care…

…but expect blogging to be very light over the next 10-days or so. I say this not because I believe you can’t manage without my witty insight, but because I don’t want you to think I’m dead*.

I have plans to do a bit of travelling in the summer, and I need to raise some extra funds, so I’ve taken on some extra hours in the real world. I know, shame on me.

*of course, by the time you read this, I could very well be dead. You know, what with the combined threat of buses, crazed G20 protesters and poisoned cheeseburgers (I have this nightmare — it’s becoming a problem), it’s a miracle I’m still here.

I’ve already linked to it, but…

…if you have any passing affection for the English language, you HAVE to read Gill’s latest review in The Sunday Times. Gill sculpts his words with all the genius of Michelangelo and the bile of a spurned lover ::

…I bet she was livid for getting turfed off an aeroplane, having to be told off by a customer anger facilitator and spending another four hours in an airport, all for calling some big bloke in a uniform an arsehole. If she’d known, at least she could have called him a suppurating sphincter-faced poxed toothpick-pricked moronic dribbling lackey loser of an arsehole.

Never has a Murdoch coin been better spent, than on Gill’s salary. Fact.

The irregular quote of the day II

Gary Younge, writing in today’s Guardian ::

Instead the government continues to approach Muslims as though their religion defines them. It rarely speaks to them as tenants, parents, students or workers; it does not dwell on problems that they share with everyone else; it does not convene high profile task forces to look at how to improve their daily lives. It summons them as Muslims, talks to them as Muslims and refers to them as Muslims - as though they could not possibly be understood as anything else.

Now *that’s* a word

Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz.